Day 9: Why All Our Controllers Suck

Alright...so I hadn't posted in a couple days and I didn't have much to say for today either. I finally got Portal 2 on Friday and played it all day Saturday. The NBA Finals game 6 is tonight as well as an Impact Wrestling PPV (I'm a big fan) so I'll keep this brief.

What's the best video game controller? I'll probably make this a poll later if I feel like it but the correct answer is 'none of the above' and the reason is patent trolling. Now, some technology can be patented and some can't but I'm not sure of the distinction. Even making the distinction must be tricky. Problem is that some pieces of tech are patented by some companies and they prevent their competitors from using the same technology. That means they have to develop ridiculous alternatives to serve the exact same function. That's why we get things like the abomination that is the Xbox 360 'd-pad'. No one can use Nintendo's patented D-Pad, the only one worth a shit, and that's terrible. I don't know if Microsoft has their triggers patented but the triggers on the PS3 are terrible too. They're like vestigial appendages that no one wants to use for anything important. You can't shoot with them because they're stiff and the delay will get your killed or not register at all. You can drive with them okay, often more realistically than the Xbox triggers, but your fingers get tired. I haven't tried them but what the hell is up with Nintendo's circle pads? I understand that for the DS's sleek, clamshell design vertical volume can't exceed the touch screen's height. However, they showed off their new Wii U controller and it has 2 circle pads instead of joysticks. Now I know no one's patented the joystick concept itself but has Sony, Microsoft or someone else patented all the good parts leaving Nintendo to make something a bit ridiculous?

I dunno. I just want a good controller. It needs to be comfortable to hold and reach every button seamlessly. While I'm not an Xbox customer I do use their controller for my PC games, where applicable, and it's great. The triggers feel perfect and the ergonomics are excellent. However, I don't like the layout of the joysticks and would prefer better symmetry. Essentially, the 360 controller is a modified Gamecube controller with crappier buttons but better triggers. The Dualshock is by far the prettiest controller in that it has perfect symmetry and a solid color scheme devoid of color. It blends right in with all our other electronics and doesn't look like a child's toy. However, the ergonomics are way off and is exhausting to wield for long periods. The Wiimote + Nunchuk just feels awkward and most of the buttons feel weak. The controller has the buttons to wield a modern action game but they're not designed for you to be able to reach. However, with all the ways to play with a Wiimote it leaves some games better off than others.

We'll see what happens but I wish it were possible for a company to just design the best damn controller they can and forget about having to deal with lawyers and patents. It's just a damn controller...the video games and consoles are where the patents make sense and that's where you're making your money anyway.